The Perfidious Perforator! (part 2)

III

"I don't understand, Sir?" I said , and I didn't. But I cautiously pushed my chair back away from the madman and his spittle.
"Look at them man!" he said in a strident half-chocked voice, "Look at the two pound roo!" He finished with a melancholy voice denoting great loss.
I looked.
"You mean the pink one with a big rat in the middle?" I said uncertainly.
"Yes, yes...it's a kangaroo you fool! What do you see?"
"...er... a pink stamp with a roo in the middle...but it looks more like a rat to me, sir" I said bravely.
"Forget the fucking rat! Look at the sides, look at those..." he leaned over and smashed his index finger at the side of the stamp a number of times.
"You mean those little half holes?" I asked incredulously, the guy was a certified nut.
"Yes! there you see?"
"er...no...sir they just little half holes... some are more rounder than others"
"That's it! Exactly!"
"It is?"
'That stamp has been reperfed, boy!" he stated with authority normally reserved by doctors pronouncing someone dead.
"Re...what, Sir?"
"Reperfed, for Christ sake! reperfed...means that some utterly immoral person has cut new ones, they are not the original perfs!"
"Fuck me, really?" I said feigning surprise at the perfidy of the act, when actually I was thinking, that he needed some medication, and quick.
"Exactly! And you know what that means? Don't you?"
"Absolutely, Sir" I lied, so that, maybe soon I could go.
"Right...go do something about it." he said and with a wave of his hand dismissed me.


(to be continued)